Lisa Lorenzo's blog

Summer Rejoicing

I can't believe it's September already.  This summer has flown by.  I caught up on all the traveling I missed while being sick.  My first trip was to the Exumas!  My Fab 5 team (-1 family :(  ) traveled with us on an incredible vacation celebrating friendship.  What a time of rejoicing!   There were trips to Princeton, Cornell and UPENN with Jorgie.  A cruise with my mother-in-law (who is doing amazing!) and daughter.  I went to Orlando with Michele's dance team.  Then we hit LA with some friends and had a truly amazing time.  I was able to walk to the top of Runyon Canyon, what a true blessing and mountain top experience.

It has been an extraordinary summer!  A time of watching the sunsets and smelling the roses.  Counting blessings upon blessings.  Celebrating with friends and being thankful for each and everyone in my life.  Wow!  I sit in awe of the mighty things that happened and the way they have changed my life.  I am amazed at the work that He has begun in me.

I have a new passion for the newly diagnosed women.  I love to minister to them and give them HOPE, true hope, the kind that only comes from Jesus.   I have met many strong and courageous women who are just beginning on this journey.  They have blessed my life in ways I cannot describe and I am humbled that God allows me to have a roll in their experience.

 I am excited to walk as a survivor this year in the Miami Race for the Cure with Susan G. Komen Foundation.  I also have been blessed to be a part of their advocacy team.  Thanks to State Rep. Jeanette Nunez, I was able to be a part of a new bill to be filed in the state of Florida that will mandate oral chemo be covered the same as intravenous chemo.  It is wonderful and it will actually save the lives of thousands of women who would never have been able to pay for their oral treatment.  Thank you Jeanette.  I love you and the work you are doing for everyone is the State!

I hope you will sign up to walk with me on October 15.  Here is the link:

http://miamiftl.info-komen.org/site/TR?team_id=180181&pg=team&fr_id=2299&et=250GYnpDLEDIbe3pcM_eJQ&s_tafId=75571

I will see you at the race! 

Better Not Bitter

It is sooooo easy to look at the circumstances in our lives, that perhaps we don't understand and become bitter. We question why this would happen to us. If our hearts are not in tune with God's then we see things with earthly eyes instead of spiritual eyes. In Ephesians 4:31, Paul instructs us to, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Rage, anger, brawling and slander all come after bitterness. I believe when we allow bitterness to make a home in our hearts the others will follow. Sometimes I find myself yelling at my kids or becoming easily annoyed. I recognize that as a warning that I need to check my heart again and bring my burdens back to the foot of the cross. Is it easy... no. But it is well worth it for my heart and the heart of those around me.

My Pastor always says to do a heart check so that we don't allow bitterness to take hold of us . Instead, we should search within God's word and see what He is trying to do thru the situation that we find ourselves in so that we can be better followers of Christ. I love how Paul says, "Just get rid of it". Paul is saying, “Move on; don’t waste your life on what is coming to nothing. Throw it out, push it away. Leave the old ways behind and come with me, and you will experience a new kind of life full of growth, freedom and joy. Do not allow it to dwell within you. The illness and treatment I endured can challange you to focus on disappointments and see a crisis. Instead I choose (daily) to focus on my beautiful Savior and see the risen Christ in all His glory. It has pushed me to really seek God and get to know His Word. It has helped me to learn how important and precious it is to sit in His presense and listen in silence. Mourning may last a night but JOY comes in the morning. I am looking to the Morning Star.

Mother's Day Bitter Sweet

 

Obviously this picture was taken a very long time ago.  Note the fashion foward sense of style and of course, the huge hair.  LOL.   This Mother's Day I am blessed to spend with my husband and children.  I am extremely aware of the great miracle I have been afforded to spend another day with those whom I love and cherish.

This week I attended my friend's mother's funeral.  A beautiful woman and an incredible mom and grandmom.  I watched and my heart broke as I know all too well that feeling.  I was reminded that night of the excruciating pain I felt the night I arrived home from my precious mom's funeral.  I remember wondering how my life could go on without the presence of this extraordinary woman in my life.  I wondered if the weight of absence would ever be lifted off of my heart.  I remember kissing her cheek that night and thanking God for giving me, not a perfect mom but the perfect one for me.   God was there with me in the dark that night.  I remember feeling His comfort and knowing that the separation was temporary because of what my Savior did on Calvary's cross.

This Mother's day I look back and remember my mom,  Bonnie Lee Weir Gallagher.  Her legacy... LOVE.  She valiantly fought ovarian cancer for five years.  She fought the good fight.  She kept the Faith.  She was an example of what I hope to be.  Today, I remember her, thank God for her and hope to honor her memory with this post. 

I hope and pray that I will be able to touch as many lives as she did and that one day, (a very long time from now), my children with think of me with the same love and passion. 

May your day be blessed.

Susan G. Komen Lobby Day

I had the great honored of being invited by the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation to their Lobby Day 2011.   I flew (all expenses paid) to Washington on April 13th.  I asked God for a Christian friend to be with me.  As I arrived to MIA I recognized Kim, a sweet Christian woman I met a few weeks back when I was asked to be a guest on a TV show at Barry University.   We roomed together for the three day trip.  It felt like I had known her my entire life. 

To make a long story short, it was an amazing trip.  The second day started with a breakfast, the best speaker of the morning was Congressman David Rivera, who inspired us all.  Then, we met with all the members for the State of Florida.    Marco Rubio was very supportive and took time to take pictures with the group.  He just moved into his new office and it is SO pretty.  My friend Viviana was there working in the Washington office that day so I got a chance to spend  sometime with her.  (Loved that).  We stopped in to say hi to Senator Boozman from Arkansas.  I met his family friend, Jody during the inauguration in January.  He is an amazing Godly man with the kindest demeanor.  It's no coincidence that Senator Boozman and Senator Rubio's offices are next door to each other.  They are two incredible men God is using in our Country.

Last but not least, the amazing women I met on this trip.   It was humbling to be walking the halls of Congress with over 100 breast cancer survivors.  Those women were so kind and supportive of me, always asking if I needed anything or how I was feeling.  I met a beautiful young women Jamie.  She was diagnosed in her 20's when she was pregnant.   She is now cancer free but has an unbelievable story.   Here is her blog: http://www.pregnantwithcancer.blogspot.com. 

This lobby day was one thing, other than prayer, that I could do to help win the fight with breast cancer for those fighting now or who have yet to be diagnosed.  I was inspired by the entire trip.  I was thankful to be part of such an incredible group of survivors.  And most importantly, I was humbled by all that God did for Kim and I as we were there.  I love it when you can see the little things He does to bless His daughters.  Keep your eyes and ears open or you may miss the small miracles in your own life.  :)

Relay For Life

This week I was honored to be asked to speak at the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life in Doral.  I was asked by Doral Vice Mayor Michael DiPietro, who is a family friend for over 16 years.  I spoke during the Luminary Ceremony.  For those who have never attended, it is a beautiful ceremony.  They turn all the lights off and light candles for those lost to cancer, those fighting cancer and those who have survived cancer.  During that time there is music playing and a time of silence.  It brought tears to my eyes as I thought about my mom, my mother-in-law, my many friends fighting now and all that I have been through.  It was a time of healing and reflection.

It was privilege for me to share my experience and how God has blessed me during this battle.  I spoke about the hope placed in my heart by God.  It was therapeutic to talk about the blessings I have experienced and the outpouring of love and support by friends and family.   We should all be ready, in and out of season, to share the hope we have in our hearts.  I hope that my words and the meditation of my heart were pleasing to God.  :)

Camp Pino Reunion

Another party held at Lea and Peter's house last month to celebrate being DRUG FREE (chemo).  It was a reunion from our Washington group trip in December.  We loving named the "ranch"... Camp Pino.  Thanks to Tatiana and Sergio for their kindness and generousity.  And thank you Peter and Lea for always opening their home and their hearts to us.  Love you all.

 

"Constant use will not wear ragged the fabric of friendship."  ~Dorothy Parker

Celebration Dinner

A wonderful evening with the Peter and Lea Padron and Dr. Willy and Lilly Lopez.

We had a great time.  Thank you to my Peter and Lea for a delicious dinner (again).  We love you. 

There is a friend that loves like a brother. 

Cancer Free

Most have heard by now, but it's worth repeating. My test are done and it shows, "no abnormal cells in my body that would indicate a recurrence or metastatic breast cancer". Thank you Jesus. I had great doctors and wonderful surgeons. I received good strong treatments and took a ton of medication. However I need to say that without a doubt, my healing comes only by the hand of God in the shadow of the cross. By His stripes I am healed. My entire being is full of thanksgiving and praise for the work He has done. Psalm 104 says is best, " I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord". God will never leave us nor forsake us.

I must say to all of those who are waiting on their healing... God loves you. He holds you in the palm of His hand. His thoughts toward you are more than the grains of sand. He is obsessed with you:). I have so many amazing women fighting the same battle in my life. Now that I am cancer free I will not just walk away. I am forever changed. I will rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. I stand in the gap and pray daily for their healing. I will trust and believe God's promises for them when perhaps they cannot. I stand with my sisters and fight with them. You are not alone ladies.

"Sometimes God will calm the storm you are in and sometimes He allows the storm to violently rage on around you and He will calm you" It is an amazing experience to sit in the raging storm and allow Him to calm you and bring you peace. It is actually beautiful. Today I thank Him for calming my storm, as well.

Testing 1, 2, 3

 

It's been said that, "Without a test there is no testimony". Well today I am scheduled for a huge test. I am having a P.E.T. scan. The test shows any cancer cells alive in the body. It is a three to four hours test. I am trusting and believing that the test will come back to show that all cancer cells are gone. I am praying for God to keep me in His perfect peace.

Perfect peace sounds like such a beautiful place to be. I picture a warm sunny day, birds singing and flowers everywhere. A far cry from a cold hospital room and a hard machine that makes lots of noise as it searches up and down for cancer cells. But the perfect peace God promises for those who trust in Him lives inside my heart and I take it with me everywhere I go. It will walk into Baptist with me and it will be there when the doctor calls with the results. It is a promise found in Isaiah 26: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You."   The definition of steadfast is: firm and unwavering in purpose, loyalty or resolve, fixed, firmly fixed or constant.  We have all heard that saying, the mind is a terrible thing to waste.  Having my mind steadfast on anything other that God and His promises is a waste.

So in a few hours I walk into my test and I allow God to work out my testimony. I'm in the good hands of a Good God. I will fearLess and Trust More. I know that whatever the results are God will carry me through. I hope that whatever test you are going through or where ever there is doubt in your life, you will take it to Him, and place your trust in His capable hands.

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee" (Ps. 56:3).

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;" (Psalm 23:4a)

Celebration of Faith, Life and Friends

 

February 5th, Two days before my second surgery sounded like a perfect time for a party. Lilly and her husband Willy (Dr. Lopez) opened their beautiful home for a celebration. Originally it was supposed to be a dinner for one my oncologist. When he was unable to attend we decided we needed a party after everything we had been through. You may wonder why I say "we" instead of I. That's because this dinner was a celebration to give thanks for a few frineds that had been close by my side.   We really went through it together.   It wasn't as much about the worst being over as  giving thanks to God for being with me during the worst. Anyways, it was a fabulous night. The food was great and we had a great time.  It was all about God and His Faithfulness!

Pastor Razz shared a story about an Native American ritual when a boy is to become a man. His father takes him out into the wilderness and blindfolds him. He is told not to remove the blindfold until the morning when the dad returns to get him. He hears animals and noises through out the night. He sits alone all night. When the morning light warms his face and he removes the blind fold, he finds that his father has been sitting in front of him all night long. Our Heavenly Father never leaves us or forsakes us. And so through the night I have always known He was there.

I hope that whatever difficulty you are facing you will feel Your Father's loving presence by your side. He never takes His eyes off of you.

Here are a few pictures of the dinner party. I want to thank Lilly, Lea, Jeanette and Ivette for making everything beautiful and all those who attended for being by my side through the darkness:

 

Last Chemotherapy

Jorge took me to breakfast, just like every other time I had chemotherapy. But January 7th would be the last time we had our chemo morning breakfast together. Jan 7th was my last scheduled chemotherapy and a day to celebrate. People who struggle with a life theretaning illness don't need a reason to celebrate. We celebrate life, a new day, new mercies, a sunrise and a sunset. Today I celebrated being alive, being thankful for all those who God predestined to walk with me, and my last chemo day. The staff held a celebration, gave me a beautiful framed certificate and lots of love. I was, again, blessed.

A young girl, we had met a few months ago before during treatment, was talking about her prom and her birthday. She is 17 years old and fighting ovarian cancer. As soon as Yvette heard it was her birthday she ran out and bought her balloons, a card from all of us and a book. I truly have the most amazing friends. I am so thankful to have these ladies by my side.

I hope you celebrate the day and do something special for a friend or even a stranger just because you want to be a blessing!

Blessings

   

This song moved me to tears. My friend Jeanette shared it with me this week. It is not that we are to believe God's plan is to harm us. His promise is this, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." However, He also promises to use EVERYTHING for the GOOD of those who love Him and are called to His purpose. Nothing is wasted and everything is for His glory. I love this song. I hope is blesses you as well.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Surgery #2

I am scheduled for my second surgery tomorrow, February 7th at 1pm at South Miami Hospital.  I will be having a full hysterectomy, which has a different name but I can't remember it now.  LOL.  CHEMO BRAIN is real.  I will also be having reconstruction done to repair earlier damage.  (enough said)

My ovaries, apparently, are trying to kill me.  All of my doctors (all 6) have advised me that if I do not remove them I have a 75% chance of the cancer returning there.  My mother died of ovarian cancer at 49 years young.  I have seen and felt the devastating affects of that horrible disease.  I immediately agreed to remove everything. 

Please pray the doctors will be feels God's presence and God's peace.  Also that God Himself will guide their hands. 

I appreciate your prayers.  God is faithful and I place my trust in Him alone.

Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,' says the LORD"

Jeremiah 33:6 "'Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them; and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth."

Senator Rubio's Inauguration

 

On January 5th my family and I were honored to be invited to witness Senator Marco Rubio's inauguration.  So on the last day of our vacation we drove to Washington.    I was humbled the night before to recieve a ticket to sit in the gallery and watch it life.  God had great plans.  I sat in Gallery 6.  I met two wonderful Christian women, Jody and Vickie, who were there with Senator Boozeman from  Arkansas.   I don't know much about Senator Boozeman except that his sister Vickie and his friend Jody are two of the kindest women I have met.  I really felt God placed them next to me to remind me that He is always watching out for me and surrounding me with His people.  I am so thankful to have been there to witness such a wonderful historic event with Marco and Jeanette.

New Year's Vacation

 
Here are a few of the pictures from our December vacation to Virginia.  We had an awesome time.  Just two days before the trip we almost had to cancel.  December's chemo brought lots of pain and left me feeling very weak.   But I was finally able to go.  I spent lots of time resting and simply hanging out with a few of the people I love most in the world.  It was wonderful. 

Missing from picture is the Willy and Lilly Lopez.  They were vacationing in Colorado.  I needed to mention that becuase Lilly was the only one from my Fab 5 Chemo team that wasn't able to be there with us.   We missed her. 

HOPE In 2011

 

2010 is over.  It was a hard year.   It brought many lessons and a lot of change into my life.  Many things I will take with me into 2011.  I take with me the Peace God granted me, the friendships He strengthened, the lessons learned, the love poured out and new life that is growing out of the ashes.

I leave behind the tears that were shed, the pain endured and the hurt that was held in my heart.  2010 taught me many things, life is short and no one should take that for granted.  Teach us Oh Lord to number our days.  Live life to the fullest and seek God now.  Put Him first.  He has healed and restored more than my health.  He has restored relationships and healed hurts that were stored in my heart where only His love should live.  

I am walking into 2011 a new woman.  One that knows that when all else fails, there lives God. A woman who trusts Him and rests in Him.  One that has found that most things we worry about don't really matter.  I'm a women whose just wants know Him more.  Jesus, the sweetest name I have ever heard.  A woman who knows that joy doesn't come from having everything perfect and being happy.  It comes from knowing He has everything under control.  And peace can come in the midst of your darkest day, in the middle of a huge battle and in times of trials and among many tears.  He gives peace because He is PEACE.   This world can hold no hurt that Heaven cannot heal.  We carry all these burdens around and He stands, arms extended, begging us to come to Him and lay those burdens down.  This year I lay down my burdens so my arms are open for love. 

I do not know the future but I know the ONE who holds the future in His hands.  I pray that we all would find that Hope in Him.  Looking forward to a great New Year and praying that, "God, the source of Hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in Him.  Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit".  Romans 15:13 . 

Birthday Greeting

Click below to see Birthday Video Clip:)

Download Capture_20101229

I Demand A Recount!

 

No use denying it.  Too many people know the truth.  Today, December 29, 2010 I turn 40 years old.  I tried so hard to tell everyone that I get a do-over because of my current chemotherapy and having no hair.  I wanted to skip it this year.  I wanted to turn 40 next year. 

Abraham Lincoln said,"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." I think He was talking about the abundant life.  Living everyday to the fullest, with the best attitude and showing love to others in your daily walk. Taking that too heart, I will not skip an occasion to celebrate this day that God has given me.  I won't take any days for granted.  Today I remember my beautiful Mom, I think she would be proud of the person I am becoming.  I hope that God is well pleased with who I hope to be.   I hope my kids and husband are proud of the person I am. 

Today I will be traveling with my family to Washington for the inauguration of Senator Marco Rubio.  We will be celebrating with his family and friends and are honored to be included.   It would have been easy to pass up this opportunity and stay home feeling sorry for myself.  But our days are fleeting and I want to LIVE each one, rejoicing and giving thanks.

I am thankful to be FORTY.   Life is beautiful and wonderful!  I can't wait to spend this week with everyone in Washington.  I look forward to spending the week with my beautiful friend Tatiana and her family.  (Love you Tati and I am thankful for your friendship now & over the last ten + years).  And very soon I look forward to celebrating my 40th Birthday with a wonderful PARTY surrounded by all those who I love, love me and have helped me get here this year.    Love you all and Happy Birthday to me.

 

Reality of Chemo

 
 
Eyebrows are almost all gone.  Eyelashes are few and far between.   I hate chemo:(  I have been in bed since the 24th.  Very weak and this time has given me excruciating bone pain in my lower back and even my scull.   I was forced to take pain medication for a few days.   For the first time today I am finally feeling better.  THANK GOD!!!  Seems the pain is gone for the most part. 

I know this picture isn't pretty but it is reality.  One more left and I'm done with ugly chemo.  I look at this picture and can't believe I am even posting it.   But I am posting it because I believe and trust God will do as He says, "He has made {will make} everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in their {my} hearts, yet so that man can't find out the work that God has done from the beginning even to the end."

 



Best Gift Ever

 
We all know God is a giver.  He gives the best gifts.  "Every perfect gift is from above".  But what is the best gift??? Here is a list of my favorite gifts I have received this year, during my journey to being healed and whole.

LIFE.  Obviously life is the most important.  Not only does He offer us the hope of eternal life, He offers us life and life more abundantly here on Earth.  Don't let the troubles of your journey keep you from missing out on all the beauty He offers here.

COMFORT.  He gives us every gift from the Spirit.  A promise that we will not walk alone.  He will be our counselor, teacher and guide.  "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you."

HELP.  He is our helper.  “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.”    He doesn't expect us to do it all on our own. He wants to help you and be there every step of the way.

All of His gifts, too many to list, are beautiful.  But the most beautiful part, is that the best gift is the One you need today. 

Today my sentimental heart is full of nostalgia. My eyes cannot keep the tears from pouring forth.  Not because I wish things were different, because I accept where I am today and am so thankful from where He brought me.  Not because I am sad or worried, but because I recognize that He is my LIGHT in this horrible darkness.  Although there is a violent storm around, I can clearly feel His  PEACE despite the chaos.  He gives joy and BEAUTY for the ashes that live in my mirror. :(   There are somethings that like Mary, I feel should not be spoken but pondered in the heart.  When I feel no one would understand He sends a friend that loves like a sister.  I can't tell you how much love I have received this week from a handful of women who love Him enough to stick by my side through all my tears and weaknesses.  The best gift is knowing with all your heart that whatever "life" brings, Jesus will be there to carry me, lift my arms and fill me again with His love and mercy.  That is today's gift from Him to me.  He is my REFUGE and my HIDING PLACE.  I find comfort in the shadow of His wings.  I run to Him and simply hide out until my eyebrows grow back (me being funny).

How can I repay what God has done for me, except to offer my tears that flow abundantly from my heart as a love offering to Him who is worthy of all praise.  I stand in awe of His Love for me.  If you think He hasn't done the same for you, then be assured that He addresses that.  Jesus said, "You don't have because you do not ask, and if you ask you do it with the wrong motives"  I hope and pray that this Christmas has brought you what you need from Him, asking with a pure heart and receiving the perfect gift.

 I love you all.  I need to go again and wipe all the tears from my face:)  Merry Christmas and may the New Year bring you hope, faith, love and HEALING.  <3

 

Chemo #5

December 17, 2010.  Chemo #5.  One left, God willing.  I know God is getting me through day by day.  I am thankful for all those who have encouraged and prayed for me.  I am humbled by the outpouring of love and support.  Love you all!

~Lisa

 
 

I'm Normal

 

 

Sunday night Jorge took me over to the emergency room.  I have an infection, a UTI, tmi?  LOL.  The ER doctor sent me an antibiotic and a medication for pain.  After a good solid two weeks of feeling horrible I had finally recovered, then this.  I haven't been drinking my water, I was too sick to my stomach.  Jorge took me Tuesday to the doctor appointment.  I figured my liver enzymes would be high because of the new medication for the infection and the lack of water.    They were perfectly normal.  For the first time since I started chemo they are NORMAL.  Yahoo!  I wanted to cry.  I know very well that could only be because of God's healing hand.  All of my labs were normal.  Dr. Negret said they didn't even look like someone going through chemotherapy.  Thank you Lord for those reminders you throw in when I forget how great and wonderful you truly are.

Dr. Negret says that because my liver enzymes are normal I will be getting a stronger dose of chemo.  The strongest I have gotten so far.  That makes me happy and nervous.  It puts me in a place where I can be consumed by fear or... trust Him more and FEARLESS.  I choose to trust Him.  I covet your prayers this week.  :)

I am blessed to be planning to host Noche Buena or if you live outside Miami... Christmas Eve at my house.  I am excited to be home surrounded by my family this Christmas Eve.  My dad is coming with his family and my mother-in-law and father-in-law.   I will be missing my sister and her family and my beautiful grandparents.  :(    I anticipate possibly not feeling my best so I have plenty of people lined up to help me to make it a very special day.   Thank you to all those who have offered to help me.  Love you.

Well we are moving on to chemo #5.  Thank you God for everything you have done in me and for me.  I am truly humbled at the miracles He is allowing me to see daily.  This Christmas is so special to me for some many reasons.  Most of all because I truly will be celebrating who He is and why He came this year.  Sorry Santa but there is no room at the inn.  May you prepare your hearts to receive Him this Christmas.  "And He will be called  Immanuel, God is with us" Matthew 1:23

 

 

Chemo #4

 
 
Chemotherapy #4 is over.  Thank God.  We came back from Orlando and Monday morning reported for duty.   Jorgie didn't have school so he went with Jorge to drop me off.  He got to meet Max and the chemo staff.  Jorge stayed with me until the needles came out.  Then he hit the road with Jorgie.  My team of seasoned professionals moved in.  LOL.

Tatiana and Jeanette took the first shift.   Max told me I needed to soak my toes and fingers in ice water.  Why?  So my nails don't turn black and fall out.  EWE!   That is not something we want to do so okay... I soaked.   Ivette and Lilly showed up for the second shift and brought vaca frita de pollo (shredded chicken) rice, beans and plantains for the staff.  A belated gift for Thanksgiving.   I was back on Tuesday was shot for blood count and Magnesium. 

Wish I could say I had a good week.  It was a very hard week.  I was sick all day every day all week long.  My stomach was a mess.  I stayed mostly upstairs in my bed.   I was thankful that God provided many good friends who showed up to get my mind of myself.  It never ceases to amaze me how God uses a simple gesture to speak volumes to my heart.  Can't really even explain everything I saw and learned this week.  Perhaps those who He used don't even know they were His tools.  But I was able to see how if we slow down and pay attention He is always trying to teach us something wonderful and grand in the silent gentle spirit.  There is a saying, "be kind to everyone for everyone is fighting some kind of battle."   There are those who came to see me and shared their burdens with me.  Please know that I pray for you everyday.  I wait in anticipation for His love and healing to be poured out. 

I witnessed the beginning of restoration in a family and it was a beautiful moment.  I am blessed to have seen that.  I also listened to those who suffer anxiety from an unanswered prayer.  Please know this...  I don't know the future but I know He who holds the future.  He says. "that His plans towards you are to bless you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future."  Hope does not disappoint. 

It was a tough week but God is good.  I am becoming an expert at being still and knowing that He is a wonderful loving good God.  I am also learning to listen for His voice, especially when others are talking.  If you are struggling this week, overwhelmed by the battle, discouraged and ready to give up, in 2 Chronicles 20:17 He promises this, "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'"  He is about to do something new.  Take up your position, on your knees in prayer waiting on Him.

SHOUT OUT my visitors:  Carol, Linda, Darys, Maite, Isabel, Della<3, Esther, Cire, Norma,  and thank you to my beautiful friend Tatiana for taking Michele on a wonderful vacation to NY this week.   Thank you also to Cate for the beautiful hand painted scarf from Atlanta, GA.  

Thanksgiving at Grandma & PapPap's House

We had a great time with our family at Grandma and PapPap's House for Thanksgiving. Enjoyed Grandma's pumpkin pie, all 6 of them. Michele and I hit the mall in Orlando for some Black Friday shopping. I didn't know if I would be able to go up this year so I am VERY thankful to visit And spend time with them.
Thank you Lord.

Giving THANKS

Last year I thought Thanksgiving was thanking God for all of the good stuff.  Family, friends, food, provision, health.   I have learned a lot in the last four months.  "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."  I have learned that He desires us to "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus".    It isn't easy to suffer but He promises us this, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous but HE delivers us from them all".  Sometimes that means waiting.  What can we do while we wait.  Thank Him.  In all things and for all things.   I have many things to be thankful for thru this trial.  First of all, God has never left my side.  He has taught me unsearchable things through it all.  I know His love in a deeper more personal way.  I have experienced the deep faithful love of my friends.  I have experience abundant kindness and constant prayers.  I have seen the love of my husband in new ways.  I have felt His healing hand upon me.  I have seen His goodness in ways words cannot describe.   My faith has been strengthened.   

Perhaps you have been going through a hardship, trial or a painful journey.  Maybe you want to give up or turn away.  Look closely for He is with you.  He is ever-present and continually offers the gift of himself, even when we experience suffering, persecution, sickness, financial burden, relational turmoil, or other hardships.  Don't give up.  Without faith it is impossible to please Him but if you have faith like a mustard seed (those are some small seeds:) ) then you can say to that mountain move and it will move. How much sweeter is our thanks-giving to Him when we offer it from our hearts in the midst of pain and suffering.  As you give thanks today I challenge you to thank Him for the all the things that bring you joy and those painful trials that build your faith and hope.  Romans 5 explains, "We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "  The best part of it all is His love poured out at the cross, thru Jesus Christ.  That is something to be thankful for everyday. 

 
 
These pictures  were taken at our Thanksgiving Luncheon, Monday, Nov. 22, 2010.

 

Invite

 

 

A Night Out

 

The last few months have been very different for me.  I am usually in bed early and don't go out too much.  Last night was a very special night. Our friend, Janette Manrara has been in London for months dancing in 'Burn The Floor'.  The tour moved to Ft. Lauderdale last night.  We were blessed by two tickets waiting for us at will call.

It was everything we expected and more. The show and dancing were fabulous and exciting.  Of course, Janette was the star.   As soon as she danced onto the stage all eyes were on her.  The cheers from all our friends there to support her made it obvious that she was the VIP for the evening.  Afterwards we all waited at the backstage door.  The other dancers came to peek around the corner.  I don't think they've ever seen so many Cuban people in one place before.  It was fun to be together with so many sweet friends I haven't seen in a while.

Once Janette came around the corner we sang (screamed) Happy Birthday in the traditional way.  But then...   we busted out in Happy Birday (Cuban style).   It was incredible and lots of fun.  She is still the same sweet, humble family girl.  She took time out to talk to all of us.  I have missed that girl.  It was a night to remember.  So proud of the Miami girl gone super star!  I enjoyed staying out late, laughing with friends and watching Janette - Burn the Floor:)

Under His Wings

 
 

This was in a devotional I read today.  It touched my heart.  The illustration of how our Father teaches us to fly was so moving, moved me to tears.  I hope it will encourage your heart today.

"The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are everlasting arms" (Deut.33:27). An eagle is teaching its young how to fly. The ceremony begins with the destruction of the nest, the only home the young has known.  It has served as his safety and place of comfort.   The old eagle tears the nest up and throws the pieces over the cliff.   Then she takes the little eaglet on her broad back and, circling, carries him high into the sun.  She tilts her wings and slides him off into space. Fluttering, screeching, screaming, he drifts down. The old eagle circles around him. Long before he reaches the sharp crags and rocks below, she glides under him and catches him on her broad wings. Two or three times she repeats this as if to say, "See, you cannot fall, for underneath are my everlasting wings." We change the picture only slightly and make it say, "Underneath are the everlasting arms of God, our Father." There are times in life when life is too much for us, and we cannot keep our spirits up, and we are wounded and sick of heart. And we need desperately to experience the loving embrace of the everlasting arms of God.  We too were meant to soar.                 --Angell, C.R., "Iron Shoes" Best Sermons 1947 (Adapted).

Remember

 
Today our nation remembers and honors our veterans.  I also honor our veterans.  My grandfather, affectionate know as PapPap is a WWII veteran.  But November 11 has another special day in our family.  Today is my mother's birthday.  Being at this point in my journey to healing makes this day even more significant.   Today my heart is full of beautiful memories. 

The most recent of my surgery.  My sister came down to take care of me in the hospital.  I know that if my mom were here she would have been ever present by my side.  My sister took her place.  She flew down, leaving her 3 kids, husband and crazy life behind to be my sister, my friend and to remind me of my mother's loving arms.  I am thankful and don't take it for granted that I was loved and cared for during those difficult days by the one person who remembers all of my childhood memories.

We can try to make memories for our children but all the planning in the world goes out the window if everything we say and do is not bathed and clothed in love.  What I remember most about my mom is love.  A gentle loving word.  A soft kiss and lots of hugs.  She always like to hang on for an extra minute.  Now with my own kids, I understand why.

In life there are so many things we take for granted, go unnoticed or simply overlook.  This process intensifies the small things that are done with love.   You realize, notice and love those that God has placed around you to lift you up.  Not to get acknowledged or a thank you, although they should, but those who simple desire is to help you walk, to lift your arms up when you can't and to love you.  To simply love you.  Like God loves us.  Because He is love.  That's what He does. 

Today on my mom's birthday I won't sit and feel sorry for myself.  I choose to thank God for family, friends and faith.  I choose to be thankful for my mom and dad.  I am thankful to God for my sister, Laurie Ann.  {I love you} I will praise God for the family He has created in my home and around my life.  I pray that when we look back years from now on this year, this moment... it will give us reason to be thankful and remember.   I think of how Jesus must have felt on the cross.  I believe the love of the Father was so strong that He could only breathe love and know that He was loved.  I am thankful for that sacrafice.  I choose to remember LOVE.   Today I am going to spend a little extra time in God's arms, letting Him hold me.

What Chemo Looks Like Thru My Eyes

 

Although I had too many visitors and have to keep it down to my "chemo team", I was blessed by all those who went by to show love and support.   I don't think I am Max's favorite any more but He was very understanding.  We ALL love you Max and Jackie:) for your kindness and encouragement.

Reflections

 

Lately I have been doing lots of reflecting.  The word reflection causes a little pain in my heart, to be honest.  My reflection in the mirror is not something I enjoy.  With hair gone and scars remaining I don't look forward to catching a glimpse.  I slip my wig and put lots of eye make up but I don't look anything like the person in the pictures from just a few short months ago.  It is hard to look at your reflection and not really recognize who this new person is. 

There are days of tears and being sad.  But God has also brought me to a place of reflection.  I remember a teaching from a retreat many many years ago from Isel, my friend and Pastor's wife.  She said that the gold maker would put the gold in a huge pot and skim all the impurities off the top as the heat pushed them up and out.  The silver/gold maker would know when the silver was pure when he could look down and see his reflection.  I desire for Him to remove my impurities and to see His reflection when He looks at me.

I have seen His reflection in the heart of those who have chosen or "been chosen" to walk down this path with me.  My chemo team, Tatiana, Ivette, and Lilly have been ever present by my side.  I am sure they have had weary days, other things to do, busy schedules and there own lives hardships but I am so thankful to each of you.  Your love and desire to care for me during those hard days have shown me a clear reflection of His hands reaching out to touch and bless my heart.

I have been blessed by those who have come by to sit and visit when I couldn't get out of bed.  Everyone who has called and texted with words of love and encouragement.   Each of you have played a part in this journey that you will probably never be able to comprehend.  I often wonder how I could ever repay you.  I know I can't so I ask God to.

I have seen a reflection in my husband's eyes, one of love and compassion.  I am thankful for his caring touch and love as well.  My children have matured and grown during this journey and I am so proud of them as well. 

The bottom line is I am not the same woman I was a few short months ago.  I don't look the same or feel the same.  I can't even imagine what normal will be for me.   But this new reflection has more of His love and that is good.  My new reflection is a desire that wells up from my heart to be more like Him and to be a clear reflection of His love.

When I find myself sad because of a glimpse of my reflection I choose to reflect on His promises to me.  I remember how He has carried me through on days I couldn't walk.  I remove all areas of fear and trust in His Goodness.  I simply trust Him more so I can fear less and be FEARLESS.  Not because of who I am but because of Who He Is.  And what He is... Is the Great I Am.  In other words, He is whatever I need in any given moment.  I love that.  That's a reflection of beauty.  It is exactly how He makes beauty from ashes.

 

I will refine them like silver

and test them like gold.

They will call on my name

and I will answer them;

I will say, ‘They are my people,’

and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”

Zechariah 13:9

Women of Faith

    

Last Friday night I got a call from my friend, Olga.  She was at the Women of Faith Retreat and had an extra ticket for Saturday.  I wanted to go but never bought a ticket, not knowing if I would be well enough to go.  I immediatly said yes. 

Saturday morning I woke up early and headed out.  The music was wonderful.  Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth spoke along with several other great speakers. But during the day  the worship team sang a beautiful son called "God of this City".  I have heard it many times before but this time it was different.  It was my Father reminding me He is the light in this darkness, hope to the hopeless, peace to the restless, great things are yet to be done and greater things are still to be done in this city (me).   Truly there is none like Him. 

I dedicate this song all those struggling with the place God has you right now.  Especially all those beautiful women I have met in the last few months who are on a journey with God being healed from breast cancer.

Two Down

The effects of chemo started early this time.  I felt sick the same night, chest pains, tightness and shortness of breathe.  Monica had come over to watch Jorgie's game with me.  She kept me company, fed Jonathan and cheered the Explorers on with me.  Saturday and Sunday were the same... feeling bad.  By the time Lilly picked me up on Monday morning I was in bad shape.  She took me over to the Sylvester Center in Kendall to get my shot for my blood count.

The nurse called us in.  I was hoping to get the shot quick and go back home to bed.  The nurse gave me a really weird look and asked how I was.  I said I was good.  She said, "You don't look good".  Okay, I have had better days.  After a few minutes on the phone with Dr. Negret I was hooked up thru the port and recieved five medications and hydration.  Anti-inflammatory, anti-nausea, zantac and a few others I can't remember.  I was sad that I needed that, it wasn't in my plans.  But in the end, it helped me feel better for the days to come.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD. 
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts".   ~Isaiah 55:8-9

I recovered by Sunday, so I was only sick for about 9 days.  I was able to go to church on Sunday.  Now I am feeling great and have until Friday, Nov 5th for #3.   I continue to pray, ask, and trust God to heal my ugly liver enzymes.

 

My #33 in action <3

2nd Chemo Done

 
 

 

 
 

Last Monday (10/11) the doctor told me those ugly liver enzymes were back and higher than ever.   He told me he has never seen anything like it but do what I did last time.   I did.  I walked in the park {with an ugly scarf}, I ate super healthy, I drowned myself with water and took all my vitamins.  Most important of all, I prayed and asked God to cleanse my liver.  

Thursday I went for blood work and worried.  Oh yes, I must tell the truth, I was concerned.  Max, by beloved chemo nurse, called and with his positive spirit told me that I was qualified for chemo and he will see me tomorrow.  When I asked about the liver enzymes he said the doctor may adjust the treatment.   I thanked him for calling me, went to my car and wept.   Lord, you haven't let me down one single time during this journey.  I wondered it that meant I would have to prolong my treatment or what that really meant for me.  I was sad.   I did exactly what I know not to do.  Went into lock down, didn't answer the phone or text, didn't reach out for prayer, I locked myself in my room and worried how this would all work out.  I know that God would not forsake me but I couldn't understand.

Awake at 3am, I decided to read my bible and my devotional.  This is the devotional God had prepared for me from Streams in the Desert for my chemo morning:

Satan's Tools

"Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and, let us run with patience the race that is set before us" (Heb. 12:1).

There are weights which are not sins in themselves, but which become distractions and stumbling blocks in our Christian progress. One of the worst of these is despondency. The heavy heart is indeed a weight that will surely drag us down in our holiness and usefulness.

The failure of Israel to enter the land of promise began in murmuring, or, as the text in Numbers literally puts it, "as it were murmured." Just a faint desire to complain and be discontented. This led on until it blossomed and ripened into rebellion and ruin. Let us give ourselves no liberty ever to doubt God or His love and faithfulness to us in everything and forever.

We can set our will against doubt just as we do against any other sin; and as we stand firm and refuse to doubt, the Holy Spirit will come to our aid and give us the faith of God and crown us with victory.

It is very easy to fall into the habit of doubting, fretting, and wondering if God has forsaken us and if after all our hopes  are to end in failure. Let us refuse to be discouraged. Let us refuse to be unhappy. Let us "count it all joy" when we cannot feel one emotion of happiness. Let us rejoice by faith, by resolution, by reckoning, and we shall surely find that God will make the reckoning real. --Selected

The devil has two master tricks. One is to get us discouraged; then for a time at least we can be of no service to others, and so are defeated. The other is to make us doubt, thus breaking the faith link by which we are bound to our Father. Lookout! Do not be tricked either way. --G.E.M.

Gladness! I like to cultivate the spirit of gladness! It puts the soul so in tune again, and keeps it in tune, so that Satan is shy of touching it--the chords of the soul become too warm, or too full of heavenly electricity, for his infernal fingers,  and he goes off somewhere else! Satan is always very shy of meddling with me when my heart is full of gladness and joy in the Holy Ghost.

My plan is to shun the spirit of sadness as I would Satan; but, alas! I am not always successful. Like the devil himself it meets me on the highway of usefulness, looks me so fully in my face, till my poor soul changes color!

Sadness discolors everything; it leaves all objects charmless; it involves future prospects in darkness; it deprives the soul  of all its aspirations, enchains all its powers, and produces a mental paralysis!

An old believer remarked, that cheerfulness in religion makes all its services come off with delight; and that we are never carried forward so swiftly in the ways of duty as when borne on the wings of delight; adding, that Melancholy clips such wings; or, to alter the figure, takes off our chariot wheels in duty, and makes them, like those of the Egyptians, drag heavily.

I realized there alone in my recliner with God that He is continuing to teach me the same lesson, TRUST MORE AND FEARLESS!  As my physical body becomes weaker I must allow my spirit to become stronger and rooted more in God, His Word and His Promises.  Which was since the beginning,

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

Jorge took me to chemo Friday morning.  Tatiana, Lilly and Ivette met us there.  My chemo nurse, Max, with his sweet gentle spirit got me all comfy in my chair for the day.  He told me not to worry that I would be getting the chemo I needed.  Dr. Negret came back to explain that while my dosage would be less due to my liver enzymes my body would metabolize it the same.  In other words, it would put my body into the safe zone and the chemo levels would be the same as if it was a complete dosage.  He explained four different ways, finally he drew a picture and we all understood.

After all was said and done chemo went well.  Port worked perfect on the first try.  The ladies brought lunch over for everyone at the chemo clinic, workers, families and patients.  Max was his wonderful gracious self. 

And I will close with this, Friday, October 15th, 2010 was my second chemo therapy.  It is also the day of my son's most important game.  Columbus vs. Northwestern.  I haven't missed one of his games ever.  Today I couldn't be there.  The team was all decked out in pink for breast cancer awareness.  I was so proud.  But just in case I forgot how much God cares for me... the game was Nationally Televised on ESPN-U.  I am so thankful for God's blessings.  He knew before time where I would be that night and so predestined that a proud mommy could sit at home with my sweet friend Monica and watch #33 play with all his heart.   The Miami Herald predicted a loss for Columbus but in the end Columbus won 29-8.

At the end of the day... I am blessed.  If there is any area that you are struggling with or doubting if and when God will step in and help you, I encourage you today to go to His Word and seek guidance and encouragement.  I promise He will meet you there.

Love you ALL!

Farewell...

It wasn't the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  The hardest thing was letting my go and saying good bye to my beautiful mother.  I remembered her strength when she lost her hair to chemo.  I wanted to be as strong as her, I am not.  I accepted my hair was falling out and called Becky to shave it off. 

Many people wondered why shave it, why not wait for it to fall out.  It was falling everywhere.  I couldn't wash it or brush it because it would just be everywhere.  I had accepted that I would loose my hair even before the doctors told me.  God told me.  I was reading a devotional and there it was the book of Luke, "And the very hairs on your head are all numbered, do not be afraid".  My heart stopped and I cried.  God knew what I would have to go through and He wanted me to know from day one that it did not take Him by surprise.   I was sad but felt a great peace because He was letting me know, 'Lisa I know this will be hard, you will lose your hair but do not be afraid, I will be with you".  He made me a promise.

It was hard, humiliating and humbling.  Becky and Ivette came over, we talked for an hour about waiting another day or two.  But it was time.  I knew it and so did they.  Michele came home and agreed, just do it and get it over with.  We all cried.  The boys came in and out of the bathroom, giving me a kiss on the cheek each time they left.   In the end I am glad it's over.  I am ready to turn the page and there is no time to look back and when you are in a battle. 

So I look ahead.  I ask for prayer for the liver enzymes.   They are up again and I need them down by Thursday to qualify for chemo on Friday.   I am ready for round two.  I am thankful for all who have offered prayers and friendship for the journey.  

Thank you Becky, Ivette and Michele for your help.  It is not a moment that I will allow to define my life but I will remember the love and support you offered that day... for the rest of my life.   

Click here for before video:
Download Capture_20101010_6

 

My cutie pie Jonathan offering some love:
  

Hair We Go

 

Finally I have recovered from the first chemo.  I did get a rash from the chemo all over my back.   The doctor thought it may be an infection but seems it was just an annoying rash that really likes my back.  LOL  Then I caught a cold and lost my voice for a few days.   The worst from number one is over now.  I am regaining my strength and enjoying feeling well.

This week Lilly, Ivette, Tatiana, Christy, Jessy and my sister-in-law Mirta came over to help address envelopes for the Marco Rubio campaign.    I enjoyed the company and we got all the work done.  There is no rest for the weary.  Actually, I didn't do much. 

Today I went for a mani/pedi with Carol and Michele and then a walk around the mall.  By the time we were done I was exhausted and a little pale.  But it felt good to get out and walk a little.  Then Michele and I went to Jonathan's football practice.  It was beautiful weather and I just sat and enjoyed watching him practice. 

We came home and as I sat at the table for dinner... a huge chunk of hair fell out.  I ran my fingers through my hair and there is was again.  My hair is officially falling out.  I am hoping to hold  on to in until Sunday.  Jorgie has a football game tomorrow and Jonathan on Saturday.  Praying it will stick around till then.    I have an appointment tomorrow with Oncologist Dr. Negret.  My health care liaison will be taking me, AKA Lilly.

When I don't know what to do or what to say... all I can do is bring Him my praise, be still and know that He is God.

No Matter What... I Will Love You.

 

The past 8 days have tested me beyond my limits.  I have found that there alone at the end of my limits... is God with His loving arms holding me.  I don't think He ever stops holding us.  Sometimes we fight Him, doubt Him, think we don't need Him but in the quiet truthfulness of my trial, He is there holding on to me. 

The best way to describe chemo is you take everything you thought you were and realize you are nothing.  Without God... I am nothing.  I have nothing to offer Him, no talent to use for Him and no stregnth even to offer myself.  If there is anything worth while in me it comes from Him and for Him.   I thought I already knew that.  I didn't.

Feeling bad, weak, exhausted, sore, painful joints and excructation bone pain wore me down.  It hurt to sit in bed.  My neck hurt from holding up my head.  LOL.  Funny as it sounds now, it is true.  Then I realized I had a rash all over my back.  I asked Lilly, my resident nurse to call the doctor.  She texted me back.  ER, answer your phone.  I answered and the nurse said go straight to the er and have Dr. N paged when you arrive.   WHAT!!!  I can't even sit up.  I don't want to go to the er.  I cried and begged her not to send me to the emergency room.  The first chemo is supposed to be easy. 

Dr. Negret called me and I was able to talk him into waiting 24 hours.  If I get a fever or if the rash gets worse I would call him tomorrow.  Today it is the same, not worse.  Praying and trusting it will be better tomorrow.   Dr. Negret gave me chemo 101.  Chemo is hard.  I have the highest dosage of the three most toxic chemos.  Chemo stinks.

Last night was a new low.  Welcome to hot flashes.  Stomach pain.  Bone pain.  And not being able to sleep a wink.  It was a bad night.  But as God promises, crying may last the night but joy comes in the morning.  About 4pm I was able to take a shower and get dressed.  Feeling better.  Thank you God. 

Also I need to thank those faithful friends who came to my side this week.  To watch me cry, whine, complain, be cranky and who touched my heart through the love they exhibited by just being at my side during the one of the hardest weeks I have ever had to live through.   My struggles were easier when shared with you.  Thank you to my nurse and banker, Lilly;  my encourager, Ivette;  my comforter, Tatiana and my counselor Jeanette R.  Also Jeanette Nunez, Marlene, Florcita and of course, Lea.  Lea, all I can say is you are always running to my rescue.  I love you all.     

During all of this I have been listening to the new song by Kerrie Roberts.   At the end of the day, things were not easy, they were ugly.  But God.  But God.  But God He is merciful and beautiful.  And no matter what... I am going to love You.

Race for the Cure

 

If anyone is interested in being a part of the race for cure please check out the link below.  The walk will be October 16th which is the day after Chemo #2.  Terri Sanchez and the De La Cruz family have offered to help organize a Team Lisa Lorenzo:).  I will be there for 2011 but this year will have to watch from my bedside.   I can't wait for the Sanchez family and De La Cruz family to meet in person.  You guys are going to love each other!  I am sure it will be a great day for the walk.  I am blessed and honored to have you come together for me and my fight.   May God guide the way.

Love you all.

Lisa

 

http://miamiftl.info-komen.org/site/TR?team_id=146291&pg=team&fr_id=1984&et=xnGQJBqJ-b_PPUNwTs5oqg..&s_tafId=58435

What Chemo was like...

 

Chemo was pretty much as I expected.  Lots of needles, medication, bad smells and bad tastes.  As you have probably read, it was a struggle to get the port working.  Over two hours of trying and crying.  Yes, I cried.  I then cried again when it started working on the very last try.

I sat with tears rolling down my face after my Chemo nurse Max explained they had tried everything they could.  They would have to access my hand to put the chemo.  Tatiana asked if we could try one more time in 15 minutes.  He agreed.  Told me to go out with my friends.  I went out to the waiting room and sat with them, surrendered and sad.  Max popped his head out and told me it was time.  I walked back and sat down.  He tried again.   Last time.  It worked.  Oh God, it is working.  Oh, Lord, thank you so much.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

Lilly sent me this email Saturday morning:

I want to share something special that happened to you on Friday.  I don’t know if you are aware of this.  When you sat down the last time to check if the port was a viable option, Max was standing over you. The second he touched you, his name tag flipped over as the blood started pouring out.  On any occasion this would not be a big deal, but the reverse side of his name tag revealed a picture of God as the Good Shepherd.  God is watching over you and taking care of you at all times even when there are moments of doubt.

God was with me, not only in Max being able to get the port to work but in the comfort of the many friends that were by my side.  I felt His love, a gentle word, a hand held and a word of encouragement. 

Saturday I was feeling pretty good.  Went to Jonathan's football game.  Went out to Deli Lane for breakfast Sunday morning.  By Sunday night, 3 am, I was realizing the effects of chemo on my body.  Stomach was twisting and turning.  Lillie took me for the bone shot on Monday morning.  I have had minimal bone and joint pain.  Thank God.  But I do convet your prayers.  Only by His grace and mercy am I able to face the journey ahead.

This morning Ivette brought me a bagel and sat with me.  When she left, I closed my eyes and thanked God for those who He has brought with me down this path.  I am so thankful.

 

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Combinationregimen/TAC.aspx

First Down

On the last try, just before they were going to try to find a vein in my hand, when I was in tears, the port worked!!  God is sooo wonderful to  me.   I was able to get my first chemo today.  I am sitting in the chair right now on my last bag.  I am sooo thankful for everyone's prayers.  I am so thankful for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

Everything went well.  Feeling good.  They are very scrict about allowing only one person at a time.  But after pastilitos, empanadas and lots of love... Tatiana, Gigi, Jeanette and Lilly were allowed in.  Two at a time but that is huge.  God is in the details. 

Here we go.  I am one step closer to being whole and healed.  Thank you God.  Where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth.

+ Psalm 121 +

A song of ascents

I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip–he who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you–the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm–he will watch over your life;
The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Waiting

Okay so a quick note from Chemo room.  My liver enzymes dropped to almost normal.  I was aprroved for chemo.  I am here waiting.  They are unable to get blood out of my port.   I am currently waiting.  They injected some drano like stuff (lol) to see if it clears it up.  They will try every 15 minutes for up to three times.  Here is some music for your listening pleasure.  lol

Asking God to please open the port.

 

Chemo Cancelled

We arrived at the Sylvester Cancer Center this morning.  Jorge and I met Tatiana there.  Once I get set up and ready to go Jorge left and Tatiana took over her friendship duties.  The nurse got a call from the doctor who has to sign off before they begin.  He said my liver enzymes were high.  Double the normal high.  To answer your next question... no, I do not drink - at all.  He called Dr. Lopez, my primary who told him I havce struggled with high enzymes in the past but my pre-op test showed they were normal.  I had been dieting and working out so maybe that had something to do with it.

Within an hour I was in Dr. Nelson Garcia's office, he is a liver specialist.  He was kind enough to fit me in immediatly (during his lunch break).  He order blood work.  By then Lilly (Dr. Lopez's wife) and Ivette were with Tatiana and I.   We grabbed lunch together, thank you Tati.   Then we headed off to Lab Corp for blood test. 

They took me in right away but I knew after the first try it wasn't going to be easy.  After six tries, SIX, and eight bottles of blood we finished.  Now I wait.  Eat healthy, drink water, take vitamin E 800 mg and some other vitamin, and walk. 

If they cannot get it down by Thursday I will begin a AC chemo and they will save the T until I'm done.  That means my treatment will be 8 months long instead of 4.  I am praying God will miraculously heal my  liver. 

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

By This Time Tomorrow: Day One of Chemotherapy

 

It's late.  I should be sleeping.  Can't quite fall asleep yet.  Tomorrow begins the next step in my new journey to wholeness, body and spirit.  I took a hand full of pills.  Those who know me well know I hate taking pills, have to eat a cracker just to get them down, kinda like a two year old.  I took few for anti-nausea, a few to avoid an allergic reaction to chemo and a few more to fight the pounding headache I had most the day.

Haircut - check, medication - check, well wishes and prayers - check, crying out to God - check.  Thanks for everyone's kindness and compassion, I recieved over 100 text messages wishing me well.   Below is a list of things God has pressed on my heart today.  I hope they will encourage and strengthen you as well. 

First of all, God reminded me that I don't have to run and hide, He is with me and providing everything I need to get through this.  Second, I have angels around me.  Next, just as God sent angels to tell Elijah to eat and drink because his journey would be long, he reminds me He his not done with me yet.  :)  Also, God has the victory and has provided me with an entire army to help me.  I just needed him to remind me of that.  Which today came in a constant show of love through phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages and post.   Finally, God sometimes uses a still small voice just to get me to quite my spirit and listen.

Reading back to 1 Kings 17 God showed me His desire and power to heal. Then He dealt with my fears in chapter 18:  By this time tomorrow was a threat from Queen Jezebel on Elijah's life, but God had other plans.  Instead, by this time tomorrow Elijah would find himself encouraged and surrounded by an army that God has prepared for him.  By this time tomorrow He was hearing God's still small voice and closer to victory.

. By this time tomorrow I will have completed my first chemo and conquered a great enemy... Fear.

Read the entire story about Elijah in 1 Kings 18-19 or read below:

Elijah challenged the followers of Baal to a contest to prove whether his god or their god had more power. Elijah won. When the queen, Jezebel, found out, she was very angry at Elijah. He fled into the wilderness to escape.

After a day's journey, Elijah rested under a juniper tree. He felt afraid, and tired, and very much alone. As he dozed, an angel came to him and said "Wake up, and have something to eat and drink." When Elijah opened his eyes, there was cake and water for him. He ate and drank, and then dozed off again. ( I like cake) :)

After a while, the angel returned and woke Elijah again to eat and drink, saying Elijah would need his strength because he still had a long distance to travel. Elijah continued on, to a mountain called Horeb, where his god was said to be. He found a cave in the mountainside and went inside.

While Elijah sat in the cave, he heard a voice ask him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" He believed the question came from his god, so he answered, "I am not sure what I am doing here, except that I'm very scared and frustrated. I defended you and won a contest that proved you were the one, true god, stronger than the god Baal. Even so, there are still many people who do not believe in your power, and many who refuse to keep their covenant with you. And Jezebel the queen is after me. She's angry that I won the contest. Now I'm afraid for my life, and I do not know what to do."

The voice spoke to Elijah again. Because he believed the voice belonged to his god, Elijah did what it asked him to do. He came out of the cave, and stood at the mouth of the cave, atop Mount Horeb, hoping he might feel his god's presence and understand what to do next.  Suddenly, while Elijah stood there, a great, strong wind whipped around the mountains, breaking off pieces of rock all around which went crashing down. But Elijah did not hear the voice of his god in the wind. 

Then an earthquake shook the mountain up and down, with a terrific rumbling, but Elijah again did not hear the voice of his god.  Then came a fire, sweeping across the rocks and brush outside the cave. But Elijah knew his god was not in that fire, either.  After the fire, it was quiet. And then, in the calm, Elijah heard the still, small voice.

 

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Wednesday I was able to go to my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) class.  First one for the new school year.  We will be studying the book of Isaiah.  I am looking forward to hear God speak new hope into my life and the lives of those around me.  It was exciting.  There are over 500 women attending the class this year from all over Miami.  I have a new leader and got to see some of the wonderful ladies I met last year.  I also got to hang out with some of my closest friends and talk about something other than cancer.

After the class  Ivette, Jeanette, Lilly and Christy headed to Panera for our regular lunch after BSF.  It was fun to be back in the swing of things.  Let's leave the bad for last and skip ahead to the ugly.

Wig shopping.  Okay first of all there was a guy buying a Kim Kardashian wig.  That was fun to watch. :-)  Silly me, I thought it was a Cher wig.  I tried on a few.  I could tell by Tatiana's expression the ones that needed to come off before I looked in the mirror.  I love you Tatiana!  Ivette wanted me to try on all of them but I could tell by her expression that none looked as good as she was trying to convince me.  She was just being a supportive friend.  Thank you Ivette, I know the wig thing was a bit much for you but I am proud of you.  He he.  Lilly is the most stable of the group.  We finally found one that wasn't too bad, put it on hold for Friday.  Then today I went to another wig shop with Norma, Tatiana and Lilly.  We all agreed on one that was pretty good.  I put that one on hold for Friday.  Showed the picture to Michele and she says, "No way Mommy, you look like Billy Ray Cyrus," ROFL!  :)  I like Miley's hair but not Billy Ray.

Then we stopped by Apple to exchange my Iphone.  I put all the laptops in the store on www.marcorubio.com, I figured people might as well have something positive to read why they wait in line.  Go Marco! 

Now onto the bad, Jorge took me to meet the new oncologist, Dr. Negret.  After talking to Dr Gluck they both decided that I do need the full TAC for 6 treatments instead of the TC for 4.  That stinks!  And even worse, only one friend can go into Chemo with me each time.  (Unless a second is delivering food or coffee... hint, hint)   

I hate to leave on a bad note so I will end with this GOOD thing.  Pastor Razz showed up at home today to hang out with Jorge and I for a while.  That is a good thing.  

Reminded me of this promise  in Isaiah 52:

             "How beautiful on the mountains 
       are the feet of those who bring good news,
       who proclaim peace,
       who bring good tidings,
       who proclaim salvation,
       who say to Zion,
       "Your God reigns!" 

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."   2 Corinthians 4:16-18

My {Sisters} Keeper

 

Tomorrow begins the count down, one week for my first chemo treatment.  I'm a little, okay a lot sentimental.  I want to dedicate this song to ALL those who came to my rescue.  My husband, my three beautiful children, my dad, my sister (hospital caretaker), each of my friends.  Too many who have done too much to name.   Pastor Razz for his countless hours  with me and guiding me.  All those who have cooked, cleaned, driven, *scheduled*, printed signs for my son's football games, held my hand, massaged my sore arm, sent cards, sent books and flowers.  Everyone who has just been there for me from the beginning.  I know that if anyone had just sat and watched everything you all have done they would see God's love.  I am so thankful.  And of course, I can't thank everyone without thanking the One who has carried my through it all, my precious Jesus.  Thank you Lord, please hold me tight. 

It's been a hard week.  Visited the physical therapist and found out I have an adhesion from surgery and I am not where I should be with range of motion.  I thought I was doing great. Went to have some of the tape and stitches removed from the first surgery only to find out I am highly allergic to tape.  My skin came off with the tape.  Ouch!   I found out my chemo will start on the 20th.  I took my mother-in-law for her first chemo, which was pretty heart breaking.  Not only because I am about to start but also because it brought back many memories of my own mom getting chemo and then driving down to help me with the twins.  It was very sad.  Also, Saturday night a family close to my heart had a huge loss.  My beautiful friends, Veronica and Marco had to say goodbye to their wonderful father.  It was so hard to witness yet another beautiful soul leave a loving family behind.  But we do not mourn like those who have no hope.  We place our burdens at His feet trusting that He is close to the broken hearted and blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. 

I hope you will all keep my family and I in your prayers as we recover and look to Him.

Boundaries

We all have boundaries in our minds of what we think we are capable of and what we think we can handle.  During this journey I often have come to these boundaries and in surrender thought, "well, this is as far as I can go".  However, every time I look to God I see that He doesn't even acknowledge the boundary I have set up.  He doesn't slow down or use caution.  He takes my hand and continues on as if there was no evidence that it ever existed.

Yesterday Magaly, my mother-in-law and I had the procedure to put in the ports they will use to administer the chemotherapy.  She didn't have any pain.  Thank God.  I did but I took the medication prescribed and thanked God that He was with me. 

I was reading yesterday about His comfort.  2 Corinthians Chapter 1:3-7 reads, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."

Magaly will receive her first chemo treatment today.  Arrangements were made so that I would not take her.   As you can imagine the emotional pain isn't easy and I had placed what I believed to be a healthy boundary.  The doctors have all told me that once I begin treatment I will need to step away and divide into two teams. We will both be battling for our lives.  No wise man would ever go in to battle with two Nations at the same time.  But my chemo doesn't begin until September 20th and I realized that she will be the most frightened today.  Not knowing or understanding what will happen.  She asked me several times why I couldn't take her. 

After reading 2 Corinthians I realized that God has granted me comfort not only for my own benefit but for me to pour out.  As it reads, "so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God".  We must pass it on.  This is probably the only one I will be able to take her to but for today I will be by her side to comfort with that beautiful comfort I have been granted. 

Please be in prayer for us today.  I pray that the amazing peace that surpasses ALL understanding will be there and be felt.  The Prince of Peace Himself with uphold us with His mighty right hand.  Oh, and those boundaries I had placed have been erased and God Himself has enlarged my territory.  He is teaching me to rely on His Love and Kindness and not my knowledge.  What boundary or limit have you placed in your life due to fear or doubt that you could ask Him to erase today?

Haircut

 
Started with tears but I ended with a smile.  I arrived at Anton Acero Salon in Coral Gables to get my hair "chopped off" with Robert.  Robert has been doing my hair for over 20 years and is really like family to me.  When i walked in the door I took a deep breath and.... sobbed.  I just simply wept for a good 20 minutes.  I never cried the day of my surgery.  Maybe a tear or two.  But now I was standing in the middle of the salon crying.  Seems silly but my heart was sad and broken.  I know I hate to see people I love suffer and cry.  Within 10 minutes they were more people there to help me then in the entire place.  As he began to cut I cried again, I just needed to let it out.   Thank you to Michele, Caro, Savanna, Norma, Tatiana Pino and Lea Padron.  I love you all.  Thanks for being with me, holding my hand and helping me get through the day. 

Psalm 56:8 says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book".  Although my tears may seem foolish to some, maybe even to me, God finds them precious and collects them.  That comforts me.  In the end my friends, held my hand, encouraged me, laughed with me and God collected my tears to store in Heaven.  That is pretty cool.

I like my new haircut.  Robert is the best!  Jorge, the kids and all my friends really like it.  It is only for a few weeks.  I will be bald within 10 days of my first chemo.  I am comforted m by a scripture that God used to prepare me and help me accept that I would need chemo before the doctors told me. Luke 12:7, "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear".  He knows exactly how many hairs I have on my head and He will be holding me as each one falls.  That is what I call bitter sweet.  Only God can make something so hard... so beautiful.  He gives beauty for ashes.

Faith, Family and Football

Friday morning Jonathan climbed into bed with me.  He wanted to share a story but only if I promised not to cry.  He said, "Mommy, Mrs. Green asked us to write down three prayer request today in school.  I wrote:

1. Thank you God that my mom had all the cancer tumors removed in surgery.

2. Please take care of my mom during her chemotherapy.

3. Please help Columbus Explorers win the game tonight against Palmetto.

I cried. His hearts desires.  Heal my mom and help my brother's football team win.  Simple faith. Even at 9 years old his first "request" was to thank God for removing all the cancer from my body.  Oh yes, you know I cried.  In case you are wondering about the football game, they won 35-3!  I was so blessed when he shared that with me. 

Mark 10:15 says, "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."  I pray today that we would all have faith like a child.